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“Whatever you wish, my beauty.” When she grabbed what she wanted, he settled in the big cushioned chair, carefully arranging her on his lap. “Now sleep.”
“Just one more thing,” she whispered. She needed his promise before she allowed herself to relax.
“Aye?”
“Will you help me find my brother? I need to speak with him again.”
“Where is he?”
“He said he was going to join King Robert.”
“Aye, I’ll help you.”
She stroked his cheek, smiled, and closed her eyes. “You’re good to me, Els. I’m so happy I found you.”
“Sleep,” he said.
And she did. Wrapped in his arms, she slept harder than she’d slept in days.
Chapter Three
Els carried Joya up the stairs when the sun was coming up. She slept as deeply as a newborn babe, and he didn’t doubt she needed it. Aunt Kyla met him in the passageway and opened the door to the guest chamber. He settled Joya in the bed, tucking her in, but she gripped his arms, mumbling something, so he kissed her and said, “I’ll be here when you awaken, lass.”
Aunt Kyla arranged several furs over her, and Joya burrowed under them with a sigh. Her breathing turned deep and slow, so Els and his aunt left together, closing the door quietly.
As they walked down the passageway together, returning to the great hall, he couldn’t help but wonder if Aunt Kyla had spoken with Uncle Connor yet. He knew his uncle well enough to know he’d share it with one person: Els’s father. An uncomfortable conversation surely awaited him, but he hoped it would not be whispered about throughout the clan that he’d been caught kissing Joya.
Aunt Kyla gave him a look that made him wonder if Uncle Connor had told her after all, but then she said, “She means more to you than just a lass wandering the Highlands.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “’Struth is I don’t know what she means to me. We met a long time ago, and I’ve not seen her since.”
“When you first met, what did you think of her?”
“She made a lasting impression on me. I wanted to pursue her, but she’d disappeared. I suppose she left on another mission.”
“You never told her how you felt?”
“Nay, we’d only just met. How can someone affect you so quickly? I’ve not had it happen before.”
His aunt rolled her eyes and said, “You can’t ignore the pull that makes you question everything you’ve ever known to be true. Let it take you where it will, Els.” She patted his shoulder as they headed down the stairway and into the great hall. “Your uncle and I felt that way about each other. We’d known each other our whole lives, but something changed. We’d have been fools to ignore it.”
Aye, it was hard to ignore the pull he felt to Joya. He hated to leave her, even asleep in her room, and his mind kept summoning memories of her touch, her warm lips, and her grinding pelvis, if he remembered correctly. He’d be discreet and not remind her of that.
Not surprised to see a group awaiting him, he grabbed a bowl of porridge and sat down at the trestle table where Alick, Dyna, and his parents sat. All four faces turned to stare at him in unison, expectant looks in their eyes. If he had to wager, he’d put odds on his father to speak first, but he was wrong.
“Els, what did you learn of her journey?” his mother asked.
“Mama, ’tis difficult to explain.” Not precisely true, but he wasn’t sure he was comfortable explaining Joya’s profession, and its implications, to his mother. Would his sire think it disrespectful if he told her the honest truth?
Da shook his head. “I know what you’re hedging about. Your mother is capable of handling whatever Joya told you. You needn’t worry about causing offense. Just tell us the truth.”
“Your pardon, Mama. Papa is correct. Joya said she has been working for Robert the Bruce, but she hasn’t been able to locate him. Her group has been awaiting word from King Robert, but he has stayed hidden away all winter. Her brother arrived at their camp a short time ago, seeking out the Bruce. He was unaware of her involvement in the battle for Scottish independence, and he wasn’t happy to discover she’s been spying.”
“Is her brother not a Bruce follower?” Alick asked.
“Nay, he was a Wallace supporter, but since Wallace’s gruesome death, Joya said he’s been searching for a new king to support. My guess is that he was hoping to join the Bruce when he saw his sister. He hadn’t known she was working as a spy for Scotland.”
“It would surely take me by surprise if I learned my sister was a spy. I don’t know that I’d be pleased, especially if she’d held it from me,” Alick said.
“I don’t believe he stayed for long, and he said some angry words to Joya before he left. She wasn’t thinking when she went after him. I don’t have all the details, but they lost their parents several years ago, and he is her only sibling. He’s a bit older than her because he left right after their parents passed on, leaving her in the care of an aunt.”
Alick grinned. “Hmmm. Then what did you spend all your time talking about? Or was it more than talking?”
Els wasn’t about to admit to his fascination with the lass quite yet. His cousins had already teased him about it for a moon or two following their mission in Berwick, his interest obvious enough for everyone to notice. But he didn’t appreciate being taunted in front of his parents. He and his cousins had always had an unspoken code to save such comments for when they were alone. He didn’t care what Dyna or Alick thought, but he didn’t want his mother pushing him. Shifting the topic, he said, “When she tried to locate her brother, she lost her bearings and was abducted by two Englishmen. She managed to get them deep in their cups before they abused her, so she took her horse back and headed north. She’s been traveling for days, lost and exhausted. I don’t know what you’re looking for, Alick.”
Alick scowled and said, “Naught. You explained everything quite well.”
Mama said, “If she traveled through the Highlands alone for days, then we must allow her to sleep. She needs to get adequate rest or she won’t be able to function. We shall leave her alone.” That was his mother’s way of telling him to stay out of her chamber.
She was exhausted, so he’d have no problem leaving her be.
For now.
“I don’t know if Els can leave her alone,” Alick said, a reply that was meant to incite a reaction. The innocent expression on his face was something Els yearned to slap off, but he held his tongue and his temper.
Though he rarely had a temper. Alasdair and Alick were more known for that. What was happening to him?
He decided to offer another truthful confession. “She has been a wonderful distraction for me.”
Uncle Connor approached the table, having apparently overheard part of their conversation. “Distraction? Is that what you’re calling her?”
Els wished to stop his face from turning a deep shade of red, but he couldn’t. To his surprise, Dyna assisted him with a reply. “I imagine he’d welcome anything that can take away his memories of Brechin Castle or the Battle of Methven.”
Uncle Connor’s face lost his smirk. “Your memories still assail you?”
“Aye,” he said, not willing to expand on his response.
His father took the conversation in a direction he didn’t wish to go. “What still haunts you from Brechin Castle? That was a long time ago. Don’t you think it’s time to speak of it? Connor and I have been in many skirmishes. We all have memories we’d like to forget, but you appear to have one that has become more powerful rather than less. Why?”
He hesitated, but then decided to bare all. Somehow, with Joya here, he sensed things in his life were about to make dramatic changes. He might as well start by admitting to his invisible wound. “It was what happened at Methven that brought it back. The battle at Brechin Castle was the first time I’d looked into the eyes of a man as I killed him. I watched the light go out of them. And he fell backward, landing on top of Alasdair and the
man he’d just killed. Two dead bodies pinning my cousin. I had to get them off him.”
A voice came from behind him. “You had to get close to the man you killed to move him.”
His grandsire, Alexander Grant, left his chamber, which opened to the hall, and joined them. “That makes perfect sense, Els.”
“It does? I wish you’d tell me why, because I’m not sure I know.”
“You don’t remember?” Grandsire asked in a gentle tone they rarely heard.
“Nay.”
All the faces at the table turned to his grandfather, who’d taken the large chair set at the end specifically for him. He said, “Your cousin could have died if you hadn’t helped him, but the only way to help him was to touch the man you’d just killed. Touching changes everything, does it not?”
He nodded, his eyes misting with tears, though he managed to contain them before anyone noticed.
His grandfather continued, “And since he’d fallen backward, his face was up toward the sky and…”
“And I had to look in his eyes after he was dead.” He bolted up from his chair and paced over to the hearth and back, the reality of what had happened so fresh it was intimately raw. How was that possible all these years later? Part of him wanted to run like he’d done the previous day—to take Thunder and gallop away, but he’d been running for years. Instead, he approached his grandfather. “You’re right. I saw them up close. I had to in order to free Alasdair.” He stared at the table, assailed by memories.
“Two bodies you had to move,” his father added. “So it happened twice. Was the other body facing up?”
He shook his head, replaying the scene in his mind. “Only when I rolled him. I had to pull him toward me, then I saw his eyes. He was still alive, but not for long.”
Dyna whispered, “You saw the light leave his eyes, too?”
“Aye,” he mumbled. “But I also cannot stop thinking of what happened at Methven. I awakened to the sight of two men ready to slash my insides all over the ground. If not for Dyna, my insides would still be there.”
It was a harsh truth that had gripped him ever since. He’d do anything to be free of its hold on his mind.
“How do I make it go away?” He knelt next to his grandfather, hoping the man’s infinite wisdom would help banish the memories forever.
Grandsire reached for his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Speaking about such things is the first step in weakening them. In time they will pass.”
How he wished it were that easy.
One of the guards flew in the door. “My lairds, two guards have arrived from MacLintock land. They are here to deliver a message. May I send them in?”
MacLintock land. That meant the message had come from Alasdair and Emmalin.
“Aye,” Uncle Connor said, “do not delay.”
“Oh my,” Mama said, motioning for one of the servants to find a repast for the guards.
As soon as the men arrived, they were motioned over to join the group. After greeting the lairds and Alex, one stepped in front of the other and said, “We bear a message from Alasdair Grant. There are garrisons of English attacking castles throughout the Lowlands. He received word they will be attacked within the next moon. He requests two hundred Grant guards to join our force of trained warriors.”
Jamie glanced at Connor, who gave him a small nod. “We will send them as requested. A hundred will go out today. The rest will go tomorrow at first light.”
Grandsire said to the two guards, “Eat and rest well. You may leave with the group that departs on the morrow.” Then he nodded to his two sons and said, “Choose your men wisely and ready them.”
Da clasped Els’s shoulder on the way out, as if to tell him his moment had arrived. Once they were gone, Grandsire looked at the three cousins and said, “You’ll be going to assist your cousin. Does Joya know where to find the Bruce?”
“I’m not sure,” Els said, his heart beating fast in his chest. “She said he wasn’t in their camp, but I didn’t ask where he was.”
Grandsire said, “We need to determine if she wishes to go with you.” Then he shifted his gaze to Dyna. “Awaken her and ask if she is aware of Bruce’s location. Then bring her to see me.”
Els started to argue, but his grandfather held his hand up.
“Els, you’ll stay out of the young lady’s bedchamber.”
He had little he could respond to that dictate.
Chapter Four
Something awakened Joya, though she still didn’t have the energy to move quickly. A fast recall told her she was in the Grant castle, and if her memory hadn’t worked, the soft bed and generous furs she was nestled in would have clarified her location. No captor would have treated her so well. Dyna came into view as she pulled up a stool next to the bed.
“How long have I slept?” Joya asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“You arrived yesterday and ’tis midday already. But we have news and must move quickly.”
“What news?”
“Alasdair has received word MacLintock Castle will be attacked soon. He’s asked for more guards to assist him. A hundred men are going out today, another hundred on the morrow.”
“King Edward is a bastard.” She ran her fingers through her mane of red curls, trying to straighten the multiple tangles, though at least they were clean thanks to the ladies who’d assisted her with her bath. Easing her tangles was at best a hopeless task so she gave up. “He’ll do all he can before he dies.”
“Grandsire would like to speak with you once you’re dressed. I brought water for you to freshen up.”
Joya climbed out of bed and padded over to the chest, each step more of an effort than it should have been. “Do you have brothers, Dyna?” she asked, grabbing a linen square.
“I do, but they’re much younger than me. Why?”
“I’ve a brother, too, but only one. ’Tis just the two of us. Our parents died in an attack on our village about six years ago. We had the misfortune of living in the Lowlands when the English started to terrorize them. We had no idea the soldiers were even close.”
“Yet you survived.”
“When they heard the horses coming near, my father told Derric to take me and my mother into the forest. We left right away, but she refused to leave my father. She stayed with him too long, and they killed her, too. Derric wouldn’t let me see their bodies, and I have been grateful for that many times over. Els has probably already told you as much, but Derric joined William Wallace, and I went to live with my aunt in the next village.” Joya recalled the look of horror on her aunt’s face when she and Derric had appeared in the doorway of her small hut. Her horror had not been over what had happened to their parents but over the fact that they had nowhere to live.
Perhaps she was too hard on Derric over leaving. Thinking on it, she recalled her aunt’s voice reaching a high note when she asked, “Both of you? I must allow both of you to stay?”
Derric had been old enough to swallow his feelings and reply, “Nay, just Joya. I’ll take my leave.”
Until recently, that was the last time she’d seen him. How she wished she’d chased after him. He would have kept her safe. They could have kept each other safe.
But her mother had once said that unless your past was something special, your time was better spent on the day in front of you.
Her past was nothing special.
“How did you end up with the Bruce?” Dyna asked.
It had been difficult to tell Els her story, but somehow it was much easier to open up to Dyna. Her hand didn’t even tremble as she added some drops of lavender oil in the basin and used a sliver of soap to wash her face. “I stayed with my aunt for two years, but my brother didn’t come back. My aunt’s plans for me were not to my liking, and I longed to assist the Scots. The men who were left in the village all spoke of Robert as if he were a saint. We hated the English, so it was the honorable thing to go against them. When I heard of a group of young men going off in search of h
im, I followed them, though I lost them after a few days. I was beaten and left for dead by a couple of reivers who caught me, but Robert found me, helped me to be whole again. More importantly, he gave me back the will to live. Then he asked me if I would be willing to spy for him. I agreed and was trained for nearly a year. I had just started on my own when I met you in Berwick.” She finished her ablutions and reached for the breeches she wore under her gown in the winter.
Someone had washed them. “Your servants are verra good. I didn’t have many clothes when I broke away from my captors. My thanks.”
She was about to tie her unruly hair up in a bun on top of her head, but Dyna strolled over and picked up a comb. “Allow me. I’ll plait it for you.” She deftly arranged Joya’s curls into something that was not just contained but quite pretty.
“You have a true gift, Dyna. My thanks to you as my hair is often a challenge for me.”
Dyna gave her a quick nod and a small smile, then said, “There are gowns in the chest if you’d like to wear something different while you’re here. ’Tis best to save the breeches for your travels.”
She opened the chest and sifted through the gowns, finding a soft green one she thought would fit her. Dyna helped her with the ribbons in the back. Soon she would finish, and they would go downstairs to speak with the others…only it occurred to Joya that she didn’t often have the opportunity to talk openly with another lass. She hadn’t seen Dyna in a long time, but she trusted her.
“May I ask you a private question while we’re alone?”
Dyna replied, “Of course.”
Her dress tied, she turned to face Dyna, a woman who was far prettier than she probably knew, or maybe she just didn’t care. That thought made Joya like her even more, although it also made her a little jealous. Joya’s job required that she make herself as appealing to men as possible, showing off her curves and dressing to draw their attention. She tired of that, but it was not worth mentioning.
She focused on the important question that had bothered her more than she cared to admit. “When I saw my brother, it was the first time we’d seen each other in nearly six years. He was surprised at how I’d filled out. My womanly curves, so to speak.” She picked at a random thread on her gown and stared down at her hands, not able to look at Dyna as she continued. “When he asked me why I was there, all I did was tell him I was spying for the Scots. He lost his temper and called me a whore. Those words stung more than I could have guessed. He asked me a few questions and then left in a fury, saying I was an embarrassment to him and our name.”